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I think we all can agree that a lot of sad and disturbing things have happened this year, but a lot of blessings and lessons have also been learned. Today I want to share with you what God taught me about myself this year. Hopefully, you are inspired and encouraged after reading this post.

1. IDOLATRY AND VULNERABILITY

The first thing the Lord showed me this year was the strong idolatry I had in my life. I’m still working on this, but I use to idolize shopping. Now my issue with shopping wasn’t that I was buying clothes when I did not have money; the issue was, I was using shopping to fill a void in my heart. How many times do we use something outside of God to fill a void? Some people turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, and even relationships, but I turned to shopping. I didn’t realize this unhealthy pattern until the Lord revealed it to me in prayer one day (this is why you should pray often).

Whenever I was hurting, sad, disappointed, or stressed, I did everything but come into the presence of God. I shopped, watched Youtube videos, and would even stress EAT, but I never talked to God immediately about how I felt. This issue also caused God to expose my issues with vulnerability.

If I am being honest, I think I sometimes take God to be a man…yup I said it…I take God to be a man sometimes (and you probably do too but do not realize it). I’ve had to go through the process of learning that God is NOT a man. Now, this may sound like a “duh” moment to some Christians, but when God puts you through some things, you may unintentionally start coming to him as if he is a man.

The Lord had to remind me that people may fail me, gossip about me and hurt me, but he (God) will NEVER. He will never disappoint or judge me for the things I reveal to him. Nor will he think I am less than because I do not look or act like the Pharisees (did you catch it)?

Instead, God opens his arms wide for me to enter and smiles down on me for trusting and having faith in him. He takes delight in our conversations and loves when I am vulnerable with him. I can never put God on the same level as a human because a human will never amount to the love, power, and Grace of my heavenly father.

Let me share a story with you real quick:

One day, as I was preparing to teach my Sunday school class, The Lord reminded me of a scripture, Colossians 2:10: “and you are complete in him, who is the head of all principality and power.” I was actually preparing to teach my teenagers about how Christ is enough. I wanted them to understand that they do not need anything extra to feel “complete” in this life. They don’t need a degree, a relationship, a million-dollar home, a bunch of followers, etc. Christ is enough to make us whole. Those material things are just bonuses at the end of the day. We also do not need to be looking for external things (ie shopping) to numb our pain. Jesus is our healer…He is my healer. HE IS THE COMPLETED CHRIST WHO COMPLETES ME…WHO COMPLETE US!

I was giving this message hoping it would be a blessing to my teenagers, but I think it was more of a blessing to me than it was to them (God is so funny).

2. SEEING MYSELF AS WORTHY

The second thing the Lord taught me this year was about worthiness. The Bible says in Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Just yesterday, I was watching a sermon by Stephanie Ike about this very scripture. It’s so relatable because Jeremiah didn’t see himself as worthy because he was young and couldn’t talk well. He was afraid to give a word to the people of Israel because of the flaws he thought he had.

I have also felt this way about the many assignments God has called me to, but the difference between me and the early, timid Jeremiah is that I’ve learned…”if God called me to it, he will get me through it.”

I no longer see myself as unworthy because of my imperfect past. I also stopped trying to prove that I am a Christian to Christians. You see, I realized that I do not have to dress like you, walk like you, talk like you, be as charismatic as you, or listen to the same music as you to be considered a “Christian”. God chose me to be who I am for a reason. He saw something special in me and said “I can use that for my glory.”

I don’t have to be like the typical Christian because they are not my standard. JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH is my standard on how I should live, walk, move, and be in life. God saw my flaws, my uniqueness, and my brokenness and still saw me fit for the assignments he has called me to. I know that I am worthy not because Man says I am, but because God said I am, even before I entered this world.

3. I DO NOT CELEBRATE MY WINS ENOUGH

Another thing the Lord taught me about myself this year was that I do not give myself enough credit.

Over the years, I have noticed that my “work hard” mentality often causes me to forget to celebrate myself. My family used to tell me that I struggle with this all the time, but it hits different when the Lord comes for you.

I was listening to Deyla Sabio’s podcast called “What you need to know in this season in your life & business” a couple of weeks ago and one thing she kept saying was that God does not despise humble beginnings. I’m learning that it is important to celebrate myself often. I am also learning to celebrate everything, including the small wins in my life.

Let me give you a food for thought real quick: If you only give God praise when he does the “big” things in your life doesn’t that show others, specifically unbelievers, that God is only in the business of doing “big” miracles? And how do define what a big miracle or small miracle is anyway? Is our definition based on scripture or the world?

I believe that society has conditioned us to celebrate what they think is big like graduating from college, getting a new job, earning 6 figures, getting married, having children, etc. The problem with this is that when we achieve something that isn’t as glamourous, we think we are not good enough or have not accomplished much. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying it is a sin to celebrate these “big” wins as I believe Jesus is happy when we do, but I think we should also normalize celebrating the little accomplishments in our lives.

It’s okay to stop and thank God for helping you accomplish those little tasks. It’s okay to celebrate yourself at the end of a long day. It’s okay to LIVE IN THE MOMENT!

4. FAITH

The last thing the Lord taught me was not really a teaching but more like a revelation about my faith. I’m sure we all know the scripture that says that we need faith to please God right? Well, this year my faith was really tested.

There were many times I questioned certain things and people in my life. There were also times I questioned my existence and purpose (even though I knew where God had called me to).

There were times I did not feel worthy to follow Jesus and lead young teenagers. There were times where I felt like the burden of carrying the cross was just too much. There were also times where I felt less than, unsaved, and unwanted by society because of my personal opinions (that were often controversial) and deep love for God.

But guess what? Jesus never promised that this walk would be easy. When we go through turmoil, Jesus promises that he will be there with us. We just have to have faith that he will get us through tough seasons. And let me just tell you, I am a living testimony that he does get his children through tough seasons. Weeping may endure for a night, but Joy always comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).

Another thing I want to say real quick, because I feel like someone really needs to hear this but…Your salvation is not based on your efforts, work, or the law. Salvation is based on your Faith in Jesus Christ. Ephesians 2:8-9 says “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works lest anyone should boast.” Salvation is by grace through faith ALONE (and that’s on period)!

Let me also share with you a scripture that really carried me through this year because I am sure many of you felt anxious, worried, or even faithless. Philippians 4: 6: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Have faith and trust God. God will always be there for you, trust me.

MY FINAL THOUGHTS

Although this year was crazy, I thank God for everything he did/allowed me to experience. From living through a pandemic to SARS in Nigeria, I thank God for everything because in each instance he taught me something and presented his mercy free of charge.

P.S. Before I end this post, I want to say that being vulnerable is not easy, but I know it is for the edification of the Kingdom. Many people, or at least the Christians I saw in Church, never shared their testimonies or struggles with their Faith. Everyone walked around like perfect Christians who never felt or did anything wrong. I rarely heard testimonies about people questioning their salvation, their faith, or struggles with certain sins. It was like a taboo to talk about certain things in Church.

But I want to tell you that there will be ups and downs in your walk with Christ. There will be times when things just don’t make sense. There will be seasons that are worse than others. There will be hypocritical Christians trying to tell you how to live when they haven’t picked the log out of their own eye (catch it).

The world will fail you. Christians will fail you. Pastors, ministers, and deacons will fail you, but JESUS CHRIST, the King of kings and Lord of Lords…The Alpha and Omega…The Beginning and the End…The God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob will NEVER fail you. Why? Because he is not a man. He is GOD.

So keep the faith. Extend grace. Read your word. Talk to God often. Tell him everything, even the things you don’t understand. He will get you through this.

I would love to know what God taught you about yourself this year. Let’s chat in the comments or you can just email me: [email protected] if it’s more personal. I’ll see you in 2021, God-willing. Have a blessed day!